I Never Forget
by Rizzo's Princess
Summary: Jo and Mac are getting married. The lab's great. Then someone from the past returns. And everything goes downhill. JAC and a little bit of SM, FA, and DL. Jess never died.
1. Chapter 1

_I hope he likes this, _she thought as she paced the elevator. It was empty of all people, except herself. _Does he even remember me? Does he care anymore? _

These thoughts were consuming her mind, as she tried to gather her head. She leaned against one of the elevators walls remembering the terms of her team: Mac Taylor, the boss and father figure; Lindsay Messer, the good daughter; Danny Messer and Don Flack, the troublemakers, the dynamic duo; Sheldon Hawkes, the smart one; Jessica Angell, the badass one; and Sid Hammerback, the grandpa of the morgue. Now all that was missing to that mix was _her_. By now she should've been replaced with someone worthy enough to take care of the team. If only her team had known that she _had _to leave. New York just produced so many painful memories. Ones that she'd like to forget. But that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Her demons hadn't let her forget what had happened that fateful day on her day off.

The doors opened and she was released into the lab she loved for so many years. She could still remember going into the AV lab or the Toxicology lab, waiting for results on a case. Looking around, she realized everything was the same as it'd been when she left. Everyone was working; no one noticing her, yet. Remembering that someone would notice her eventually, she decided to wander the lab. Passing the break room she peered in to see if anyone of her friends were in there; none of them were. Lightly cursing under her breath, she continued on her rounds of the lab. Finally she came to a halt in front of her old office; the one she shared with Danny and Lindsay.

Everything in there had been replaced. It was filled with junk from her replacement. Part of her stung, as she realized that Danny and Lindsay had gotten rid of everything that was a reminder of her. Her absence must've put them all in a lot of pain. Dreadful thoughts started pouring into her brain, as she thought of them not wanting her here. _No! They will want me here, _she told herself. She forced herself to look at his office. The office was the same as it'd been when she left. But only one difference. And that one burned her.

He had taken all of the photos of _them _down. It'd always been said that _they _were the perfect kind of friends. The ones who had each others backs. But then Sinclair told her about a position in a new city. She had told Mac about it and he had told her to take it. If he wanted her to take that job, then why'd he get rid of any photos of them together or them and the team. She was lost in a daze, but suddenly remembered where she was and hurried away from his office. She went to the conference room.

There everyone was. Mac was obviously relaying a new case to the team. In there were all of her friends and a new face she didn't recognize. It hit her abruptly; that woman was her replacement, his new second-in-command. A stab of pain lodged in her chest, right where her heart was.

* * *

Sid was getting bored as Mac briefed the entire team. There was a new rapist-serial killer on the loose. So far he's killed twelve women. And all of them bared resembling traits of someone vaguely familiar. He looked out the window of the room. What he saw completely shocked him. There was a mass of curly hair bouncing away from the window.

He couldn't help himself. Sid jumped up and ran out of the room, calling for the mysterious woman. Behind him, he left a trail of confused coworkers. Then the others stood and hurried after him, shouting at him. But he didn't care. All he saw was her. It pained him, because he couldn't remember her name. The others noticed that Sid was gaining on the woman and that she was picking up the pace. Soon she was running, dodging lab techs and shoving them out of her way.

"Please! Wait!" Sid called to her. They all watched as she made a beeline for the elevators. The doors opened and people rushed out. She disappeared in the stampeding swarm. All of them watched as she went into the elevator.

She turned around and they stopped in their tracks. That girl was... someone whose name they couldn't recall.

"Do you even know my name?" she questioned.

"N-no."

"Exactly. I thought I'd been a part of this lab long enough so that when I left, I'd still be remembered. Obviously not."

"B-b-but-"

"No!" she shouted. Then proceeded to laugh bitterly. "You couldn't remember me. You are all _so _busy with work." She stepped out of the elevator, closer to them.

"That's not fair!" Sid cried in dismay.

"I think it is. Here. I'll help you figure out who I am."

"Wait!" Mac shouted. "I know who you are!"

"Who?"

"You're gonna be another victim of our rapist-serial killer!"

"Fuck off! I left and you all got rid of any trace of me! I disappeared to go to New Orleans! Fucking remember me now?" and with that she turned, marched into the elevator, spun around, and pressed the down button.

"What the hell just happened?" Danny asked.

"I have no idea." Mac answered pulling Jo Danville close and kissing her softly. Jo responded to the kiss and soon everyone around them was gagging.

* * *

She angrily stormed out of the New York Crime Lab. They hadn't remembered her. None of the facts were going to make it into any of their brains. Crying, she tried to hail a taxi. _Fuck them! Fuck all of them, _she thought bitterly.

Within seconds it started pouring. She cursed as her dry clothes became soggy. The rain pounded against the ground. Raising her hand, she continued to try and hail a taxi. Meanwhile the people she had left dumbfounded were staring down at her. They watched as her shoulders slumped, they watched as she wiped her hand across her face. Oblivious to someone watching her, the woman pulled out her cell phone. There was no signal.

"God damn it!" She cursed.

A figure stepped close to her. The team watched as her shoulders tensed. She glared at the traffic. The man put his hand on her shoulder. Instantly, she retaliated. She grabbed his wrist and twisted it. He howled in pain. Next, she kneed him in the groin. He fell to the ground, his free hand clutching the offended part. Then, to finish him off, she swung her leg around and her foot collided with his face.

The man hit the ground, unconscious. She panted; gasping for air. Running a hand through her hair, she looked up at the window. Her eyes met theirs then she turned and walked off. Leaving the man on the ground, for others to take care of him.

* * *

"Damn! Who the hell was she?" Flack questioned.

"I have no clue, whatsoever." Jess replied.

"Either way, whoever she is. She has some good combat skills," Hawkes said.

"Definitely." Lindsay agreed.

Everyone else in the room nodded their heads in agreement to Hawkes' statement.

"I guess we better figure it out. And fast." Mac murmured under his breath.

"Yes." They all agreed and hurried out.

* * *

Lindsay, Jess, Don, and Danny went to the office Lindsay, Danny, and Jo shared.

"Who is she?" Jess inquired as soon as the door closed.

"I dunno. She looked kinda familiar, though." Danny replied.

"Yeah," Flack stated.

"Hey, guys, look." Lindsay exclaimed, pointing at her desk. The others rushed over and saw a little recording tape.

"What is it?"

"Let me play it, Messer." It started playing.

"_Do you dream that the world will know your name?_  
_ So tell me your name_  
_ Do you care about all the little things_  
_ or anything at all?_  
_ I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside_  
_ I wanna feel_  
_ I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive_  
_ To know I'm alive_

_ Don't tell me if I'm dying_  
_ 'Cause I don't wanna know_  
_ If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go_  
_ Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming_  
_ Of angels on the moon_  
_ Where everyone you know_  
_ Never leaves too soon_

_ Do you believe, in the day that you were born_  
_ Tell me do you believe?_  
_ Do you know, that every day's the first_  
_ Of the rest of your life?_

_ Don't tell me if I'm dying_  
_ 'Cause I don't wanna know_  
_ If I can't see the sun_  
_ Maybe I should go_  
_ Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming_  
_ Of angels on the moon_  
_ Where everyone you know_  
_ Never leaves too soon._

_ This is to one last day in the shadows_  
_ And to know a brother's love_  
_ This is to New York City angels_  
_ And the rivers of our blood_  
_ This is to all of us_  
_ To all of us_

_ Don't tell me if I'm dying_  
_ 'Cause I don't wanna know_  
_ If I can't see the sun_  
_ Maybe I should go_  
_ Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming_  
_ Of angels on the moon_  
_ Where everyone you know never leaves too soon_

_ You can tell me all your thoughts_  
_ About the stars that fill polluted skies_  
_ And show me where you run to_  
_ When no one's left to take your side_  
_ But don't tell me where the road ends_  
_ 'Cause I just don't wanna know_  
_ No I don't wanna know_

_ Don't tell me if I'm dying_  
_ Don't tell me if I'm dying." _

"Oh my God." Jess breathed.

"I can't believe it."

"She's back."

"And we forgot her!"

"We have to tell Mac."

"Right now!"

They practically ran into Mac's office. He turned and gestured for them to slow down.

"What's wrong?"

"We believe we know the woman's name."

"And?" Mac prodded.

"Mac. She's Stella."

"Oh God."

* * *

_They should remember me by now. I did leave them that little gift. I just hope they listen to it. It wouldn't surprise me, though, if they didn't listen to it._ These demented thoughts kept her up the whole night. It was if sleep wasn't a priority now. She was turning into Mac. And she didn't want that to happen. _  
_

She was worried. What ifs filled her mind and made it hard for her to concentrate. Her feet hit the pavement at a steady rhythmic pace. Her heels made staccato beats as she strolled along. Stopping by her favorite coffee place did little to alleviate her migraine.

"Yo! Stella, how you doin'?" Joey the manager asked.

"I'm doing fine, Joey."

"Regular?"

"'Course."

"So... where you been?"

"I was in New Orleans. Then I decided to visit my hometown."

"Did it take awhile to get adjusted to the new life?"

"Hell yeah. But you know me. I can handle anything," she laughed. And he laughed right along with her.

Soon her coffee was ready.

"Bye Stella."

"Bye Joey! Tell your wife that she's lucky to have you."

"You ain't the only one tellin' me that."

"I bet not! Knock 'er dead!"

Now she paced in front of the lab. Sinclair was coming to give her a tour. Then she was tackled from behind. She hit the ground with a hard thud. Groaning, she blinked and surveyed her surroundings. There were two girls giggling.

"Stella!" Lindsay squealed.

"Took you morons long enough." Stella grumbled and stood, brushing off the dirt and gravel on her pants.

"Sorry," Angell apologized.

"It was the song, wasn't it?"

"Of course."

"Only you would do that," Lindsay pointed out.

"Does everyone else know?"

"Yep, everyone except Jo."

"Who?"

"Your replacement."

"Oh."

"Did you miss us?"

"Do you want to come back?" Stella was bombarded by questions.

"Yes, I missed you. And no, unfortunately. I still have the NOPD, that's under my supervision. Not at the moment though." She laughed. "Did you guys miss me? What'd I miss?"

"Oh, nothing much. And you bet we did. Jo and Mac started dating. They're now engaged."

"Congrats, Mac."

"Yeah, their wedding is on Sunday. Can you stay that long?"

"I don't know. I'll try," said Stella.

"Thanks. Now, Don and Danny wanna see you again."

"Kay."


	2. Chapter 2

Don and Danny were standing in the small cafe. It was a rather unpleasant day; dreary and dull. They waited impatiently for their wives to return with an old friend. Within minutes Danny spotted them walking towards the cafe. He jumped up and started waving both of his arms to capture their attention. His wife was the first to notice him. She smiled and waved, picking up the pace.

With each step they took, seemed like an eternity before Stella could reach the two men. Instantly she was hugged by Don, then by Danny. She had tears in her eyes that were threatening to fall. A sad smile slipped on her delicate face. Jess noticed and hugged her tightly.

"We missed you," said Flack.

"I missed you, too," Stella replied, wiping her eyes.

"Tell us about New Orleans," Lindsay suggested.

"Okay," Stella said. "My team is great down there. Not as amazing as you, but good. They consist of: Ricky Sanchez, my assistant supervisor; Anita Williams, my best fingerprint analyzer; Brooke Thomas, Reagan James, and Maddie Reynolds are my homicide detectives; Jimmy Yang, Kim Quintin, Aliyah and Jordyn Marks are my field investigators; and Rosalie and Lillie Nelson are my doctors. Lulu Vera and Arnie Delaney, the MEs; and Katrina Patterson and Willow Zola are my best lab techs."

"Wow. Do they replace us?"

"No. They could never. You guys are far too amazing to lose to them." Stella assured them.

"How's the crime down there?"

"Eh. Not at all like here. There's not much rush around there."

"Tell us more."

"Well, a couple of weeks ago we found this young toddler chopped up. She was only two. Her mother was devastated, her husband was out of town. He hadn't known until he returned." She took a deep breath. "Riley was her name. She was an exceptional kid. Adorable, sweet, kind. When I saw the body, I freaked. I worked nonstop for the rest of the case. Not wanting to let this case go cold, not wanting the her murderer to get away. Ricky decided it'd be all macho of him to tell me that I was off the case. And I freaked again. Screamed at him to shut up and get away from me."

"Oh." Lindsay teared up as she thought of Lucy dead.

"Yeah. Anyway, a whole bunch of suspects popped up. Randy Jones, a regular con, was the lead suspect. He was a child molester so, I mean, obviously, he'd be our number one suspect. He was able to evade us the first time we questioned him. The second time: lucky again. But third time's a charm. We nailed him." A ghost of a smile slipped onto her lips. "He-he-he said, "I did it because she was so beautiful. So attention capturing. A real beauty. I had to have her. So..." then he proceeded to tell me how he raped her, how he cut her into pieces. I thought I was going to throw up. He was lucky to have Anita in the interrogation room with me. Or else I would've killed him and not cared."

"Wow." Jess murmured quietly.

"Exactly. I started dating. My first boyfriend there was Tommy Carson. I loved him. He was such a gentleman. Not many people down there were helpful to new people. Tommy was my boyfriend for about a year. During that time we had a lot of drug busts. Kilos of cocaine, marijuana, and weed went missing. At first I thought it was someone from my lab. It was so bad that internal affairs got involved. Even after a lengthy lecture, drugs still went missing. I knew that it wasn't the lab. Tommy made me dinner one night to ease away the stress. I couldn't make it so I had to rain check. He said okay and hung up. I went home tired and just ready to change into my pajamas, grab a beer, and watch TV. I walked in and was hit from behind.

"I didn't know what was going on. I was too dazed to realize I was being tied up, gagged, and blindfolded. It was too late by the time I noticed. I was tied to a chair and put in the front hallway. My first thought was that I was going to die in my own home by some deranged psychotic killer. But then the person started humming while they fixed tea. Now I have no idea about you, but I don't know a whole hell of a lot of killers who hum happy tunes and make tea for their hostages. I then was dragged to my bedroom and tied to my bed. He raped m-m-me.

"After that I was wide awake. Waiting for him to do it again. To not feel safe in my home again. He took off the blindfold. It was Tommy. And he held up a gun. He took the gag out of my mouth. I asked him what he was gonna do. His reply was that he was going to shoot me. I laughed, thinking he was joking. He wasn't. Four shots. The first shot, my shoulder; second shot, my thigh; third shot, my stomach; fourth shot, my chest. He was going to leave me there and let me bleed to death. " She sniffled. "I thought that I was going to die there. My sacred sanctuary was contaminated again by a man. Frankie was bad enough, but this. This gave me a whole new perspective about men. I decided it was best to not date again. Tommy managed to leave the city. I tracked his transactions to New York."

"So he's here?" Don asked.

"Yes. I'm here to bring justice to what he's done. Later I found out that he was mentally and emotionally unstable. There is a dangerous man out there and I'm here to find him."

"Okay. We'll help." Danny spoke up.

Sid arrived with Hawkes. They greeted Stella with warm embraces. Lucy was in Sid's clutches and squirmed away from him. She hugged Stella tightly and started to babble about her day. Stella listened intently. But every now and then, the team would notice that she'd look around as if waiting for someone.

"She's waiting for Mac," Sid said softly.

"Yep." Hawkes added quietly.

"How many vics now?"

"About 13 now. His kills are speeding up. They're resembling more and more to Stella."

"Damn it!" Danny cursed.

Then a black Avalanche rolled up. They all looked up and frowned, not being able to see through the tinted windows. Mac climbed out of the car and slammed the door. Causing Stella's head to snap up. Her eyes twinkled when she saw her old partner. She stood and had Lucy on her hip. Lucy squealed, excited to see Mac again.

"Uncle Mac! I was just telling Auntie Stella bout my day."

"Really? I'm glad she was here to hear it."

"I know!"

He walked over and wrapped his arms around her waist. She hugged him back, not wanting to slip out of his embrace. They stayed like that for awhile longer. Then someone cleared their throat. The rest of the team groaned mentally. Jo stood there, arms crossed. Stella stepped away from Mac and smiled at Jo.

"Stella Bonasera."

"Jo Danville."

"And you are?"

"Mac's new partner and his girlfriend."

"Oh. Mac!" She swatted his arm lightly. "Why didn't you tell me you found someone?"

"I was busy?"

"Of course. You need to work on your lies, Taylor."

"Kinda figured."

"Well, I better go." Stella announced. "I have to go and catch him before he disappears again."

She turned and walked away. The team shook their heads and greeted Mac and Jo. They were all listening to Lucy chatter away when the first shot rang out. Everyone ducked, Danny grabbing Lucy and pulling her down. More bullets pierced the air and finally it died down. Everybody stood and surveyed the damage. Lucy wiggled out of Danny's grip and stood. She toddled to the door and pushed it open. They all watched as she stepped outside. Lucy managed to make it halfway across the plaza on her own. Then another bullet sounded.

"No!" Danny shouted.

They all watched as a blur jumped in front of Lucy and protected her from the shot. More bullets were fired and each bullet hit the person. Lucy was stumbling to her parents, sobbing. Mac stood and ran over to the person.

"Stella?"

"Mac..." she coughed up blood. "Tell Lucy I'd give my life to protect her."

"I need a medic now!"

Hawkes rushed over and started to check over Stella.

"I need to get her to a hospital."

"My car."

"Okay."

The ride to the hospital was a long and excruciating one.


	3. Chapter 3

They sat there. None of their minds working. Nothing that just happened seemed real. She had to make it. It had taken them too long to stop their resentment for her abrupt departure. But given time, they realized that they missed her. She had been their rock when they needed it; she'd make them calm down and focus. Most of all, she had managed to get Mac to some state of happiness. There he sat; alone and withdrawn.

His mind wasn't working properly. It kept replaying the moment; the devastating shooting. He kept wondering if it was his fault that she was hurt. She was after all in surgery. Minutes passed and he had time to think about his past with her. Stella. He had kept any thoughts of her in a compartment buried deep in the depths of his overworking mind. He had noticed the way Jo acted around them when Stella was mentioned. Jo would get up and leave, almost as if she couldn't bear to hear about the past member of the team.

The _only _member, that Mac cared about more than life and Lucy. As his train of thoughts continued to drift through is mind, Don was arguing with a nurse. It wasn't going well. Anyone could notice that. Jess was shaking and holding Lucy in her arms. Lucy was crying for Stella. They knew how attached Lucy was to Stella. After all, Stella had called on Lucy's birthday to wish her a great day and tell Lucy that she sent a special package.

Last years gift had been great. It was a small box. Wrapped in purple ribbons and paper. Lucy had ripped it open, with the help of her parents, of course. She had squealed in excitement at what it was. The box contained a scrapbook of the times Lucy and Stella were together. The first page was about Lucy's newborn year. Then continued on, all leading up to how old she was then. The next day was Lucy's birthday party and she was disappointed that Stella couldn't come.

Little did she know, a better present was coming. After some party games, they ate. Next it was time to open presents. Danny had told parents NOT to get her any play-dough or paint. Last time that had happened it was a humongous mess. The present Lindsay and Danny were giving Lucy was last. It was finally time for their gift. They had carried Lucy out with a blindfold over her eyes. She was excited to see her big gift.

Mac and the team brought cameras, to take pictures of the reunion. They set Lucy on the sidewalk and everyone crowded outside. Stella stood there, tears in her eyes. Lindsay undid the blindfold and it floated to the ground. Lucy screamed and ran straight for Stella. She practically tackled Stella. They sat on the sidewalk crying and laughing. Lucy was babbling to Stella and Stella was nodding and smiling. That rare smile that was only reserved for Mac and Lucy. The one that meant they were the whole world to her.

But it wasn't like it this time. Lucy knew there was a possibility that Stella might not make it through the surgery. Thoughts about Stella dying bombarded her little brain. She knew Stella wouldn't want her to think like that. A nurse pushed open the double doors and headed straight for Sid.

"Stella Bonasera?"

Everyone in the room stood up. They looked at her expectantly. She cleared her throat.

"Miss Bonasera is in critical condition. One of the bullets nicked her femoral artery. We managed to stop the bleeding. Another bullet grazed the ascending pharyngeal artery. She suffered blood loss. But she may be able to pull through."

"Thank you," Mac's raspy voice said. The woman nodded and walked away, leaving them to figure it out.

"What are the odds Sid?"

"Honestly? Not good. If they managed to prevent the ascending pharyngeal artery to stop bleeding, she'd have a larger chance of making it." Sid answered.

"Oh. But could she make it, even with significant blood loss?"

"Maybe. Depends on who's leading the surgery."

"Who's the best surgeon?"

"Doctor Thomas Quieten."

"Thanks."

"No problem. I can go and talk to the nurse to find out."

"Yes. Go do that."

"Mac," said Don. "I'm gonna take Danny and Hawkes to go find the guy who hurt her."

"Okay."

Don left with Danny and Hawkes. Jess set Lucy on the ground so she could get coffee with Lindsay. Lucy toddled over to Mac and held out her arms. Mac smiled and stooped down, gathering Lucy into his arms. She smiled at him and placed a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. He rubbed her back and rocked her back and forth. Jo stood next to him, watching this exchange.

A soft smile flitted onto her face as she thought about her and Mac having a child.

The surgeon bowed his head down. He knew Stella. She was like a cousin and knew that Mac would get the guy who did this. He took a deep breath and walked out the doors. Ready to get to Mac and relay the news. The news about how the surgery had gone; the news that would tell him if she made it.

He stopped outside the doors and peered through the tiny slots called windows. Mac was standing there, quietly talking to Lucy. Jo stood beside him, and the surgeon growled under his breath. He absolutely, positively hated Jo. He loathed the way she looked at Mac. The way she stole him from the team and Stella.

A tiny head, glanced up and looked at the surgeon. She pointed to the door and Mac turned. The surgeon walked over, ready to give him the information on the surgery.

"How was it?"

"She's fine. She is tough. Nothing that bad happened. We managed to stop the huge amount of blood loss, before it could do any real damage."

"Thank God," Mac said.

"Yes. Stella is very lucky to be alive, Mac."

"I know, Tom."

"Good. Now, as much as I love the fact that Sid would be able to care for her, I think she should stay with you."

"Why me?"

"Because I know you'll take care of her. Plus, Sid has a family, Don and Jess have Elly to take care of, Danny and Lindsay have Lucy, Hawkes is living at a hotel, and Adam is utterly incapable of taking care of someone."

"Okay," Mac gave in to Tom's persistence.

"Good."

"Can I-" he started, only to get interrupted by Lucy. "Can _we _go see Stella?"

"Of course." Thomas led them to the room and disappeared.

Mac slowly stepped in and looked at Stella. She was a bit pale and had gauze around some wounds. Not to mention around her head. Lucy squirmed in his arms and he sat down next to the bed. He grabbed Stella's hand and held it in his.


End file.
